4 Things I Want From the PS5

07/13/2019 WeekendAtMartys

The Playstation 5 is pretty much an inevitability. Soon me, you, and your dad will be taking the great leap forward into the next generation of gaming consoles (yeah there’s probably going to be a new XBOX too, but no one is trying to wait 5 years for Crackdown 4). And as such I have taken the liberty of putting together my non binding list of demands for the new console. Which, I am sure will be laughed at by Sony executives, or pretty much anyone who understands the concept of a business and is aware that things like the Playstation 5 are made to make money. But with out further ado lets begin.

1. Backwards Compatibility: If you were to ask anyone who has played anything other than mobile games “What there biggest wish for the PS5 is?” this would be the top answer. Why? Because having the backwards compatibility of the entire library of Playstation’s games (or at least back to PS3 era) would instantly increase day one games from 10 or so to a few thousand. However with that being said doing this would cost a lot of money and I assume Sony isn’t trying to go broke with this. So maybe just give us some ported PSMove games instead?
2. Good Games: Thanks to Chad Warden for the inspiration behind this request. Nobody wants to play a console that has no good games, which is good because the last thing we need is a bunch of identical cable boxes that play only Fortnite and PUBG. Also it is noteworthy that Playstation is making a commitment to “hardcore gamers” whatever that means. It probably means just sending out Cheetos to hungry neck-beards to much on while playing FFXVII in 2021.
3. Baller Designs From the Beginning: To be quite honest the Playstation 4, and XboxOne look terrible. I mean there is nothing inherently wrong with there look but they just look like gray/black bricks with some lights. My favorite design of this gen is either the classic PS1 Playstation 4 or the gold plated XBOX that people way richer than me like to flaunt around. I’m not demanding my $400 PS5 to have gold on it but mix it up with some colors to make the design really stand out.
4. 4 Controller Ports: I can’t believe that we are still having this discussion in 2019? I mean the N64 had 4 controller ports in 1996 and the games were still good. I’m sick of having to beat only one of my friends at a time. I want to demolish at least 3 of them, while they insult me for being a 400lb neck beard loser that plays Rocket League way too much.

Well, I am sure that none of these demands will be met but hey at least I tried. Also Sony, if you happen to stumble upon this article, you can substitute making Naughty Dog make a Jak 4 (no, Last Frontier does not count as Jak 4) for any of the items on this list. Or don’t, it’s your choice really.