Video Game School Dropout Becomes CEO Of Low Traffic Video Game Review Blog

06/03/2019 Ron Tijuana Sr.

One of life’s cruelest realities is that most video game design school students don’t end up making smash hits like Fortnite or Star Fox 64 upon graduation. In fact, most don’t graduate – and those that do usually just end up ODing on Mountain Dew Baja Blast before they even have a chance to start their career. I have statistics on the Baja Blast ODs, but I forgot to cite them. If you don’t believe me, that’s your own trust issues creeping up and I refuse to take on the emotional labor of having that projected on to me. Shame on you, ya bitch!

However, not all flailing game school students end up in that Baja Blast pine box. Meet Markus; the CEO of a shitty review blog with almost no traffic, 6 Twitter followers and hentai popups everywhere!

Markus is an expert on all things video games, including how shitty and dumb all devs are and how much better his game ideas are. Some of you may think he is dumb for running a blog that no one cares about and that offers almost nothing to society in general, but that’s why you’re a dumbass and he’s a CEO.

Markus doesn’t do this for money, you idiot. Markus is trying to get tickets to E3 and free copies of indie games to shit on, I mean review. That’s why Markus is a genius and you’re probably gonna be wanking off to a live stream of the Bethesda E3 press conference from your childhood bedroom while he is hover handing booth girls at the world’s biggest gaming expo.

So yeah, this is an inspirational blog now. You too can do great things with your life!

In return for using his image for this article, we agreed to share these memes from Markus’s personal Facebook page: