The Face Of Sonic The Hedgehog Appeared In My Cheese Omelette

11/29/2018 Ron Tijuana Sr.

You say you don’t believe in miracles? Really now, sinner? Yes. I’m calling you heathens out! You’re obviously on the path to hell, but it’s not too late to change your ways and be saved. For today I have seen a miracle – and it was Sonic’s face in a cheese omelette. I took this picture myself, at a small diner in Pahrump, Nevada:

PROOF:

You see, what had happened was – I ordered a cheese omelette, with bacon flopped across the top of it. I was having diarrhea for most of this trip, so I skipped the coffee. Shut the fuck up you nutrition experts, bacon doesn’t make me shit my pants but coffee can. I know my body better than you. So, bye.

I was about to tear into that eggy motherfucker when suddenly I saw some very weird shit. It was the face of Sonic the Hedgehog staring at me, in an all knowing kind of way. I felt ashamed, I felt judged and therefore I knew he loved me. He whispered three simple words and I began to cry. I cannot tell you what those words were, but I am now free of sin.

May you all find peace in your hearts and avoid the fiery pits of hell, like I hath.

Eat breakfast in the comments below.