Completely Unbiased Opinion: Double Dash Is The Best Mario Kart Of All Time

07/21/2019 WeekendAtMartys

You can’t argue with facts people, Double Dash is and will always be the greatest Mario Kart of all time. It reinvigorated a franchise and changed the face of racing games forever. It’s buttery smooth, crisp graphics and the saltiness that resonated from trash racers getting lapped for the third time on Dino Dino Jungle changed the way many people played video games. 2003 was the best year  for Mario Kart and the fourth time really was the charm as Nintendo delivered a classic. Also as a fair warning it was commonly known that if you had to break your drift at any time during the race you were unequivocally trash at the game.

The game also has a Mozart tier sound track and the characters are the best that any Mario game has ever had to offer. Also the game play itself is spectacular as the crispness of all shells and power ups makes you feel like you are a fictional Japanese video game character. Loosely holding onto a go-kart with a Gorilla wearing tie in the driver seat drifting for 4 or 5 miles in a row, while two giant lizards are throwing banana peels at you and the two plumbers that occupy the kart next to you. It’s strength really was it’s realism.

Newer Mario Kart games are saturated with dumb memes and stupid frills that really don’t need to be in the game. Also they have to be released with DLC and other crap in order to continue to suck money out of nerds’ pockets. Double Dash however, is a classy title and only needed one release to define a generation of games. Also DK Mountain is objectively the best map of all time and I don’t really care about your opinion on the matter because it’s factually incorrect. In fact I believe that Double Dash may objectively be the best Mario Game of all time, with the exception of Mario Golf.