There’s No Such Thing As “Boneless Wings”

02/11/2018 Team Ball Out



I guess you could call this an opinion piece – except I’m pretty sure this is 100% fact.

There’s no such thing as “boneless wings”. Chicken wings are based on one simple ingredient – the fucking wings of a chicken. If you are not literally eating a chicken’s wing, but claiming to eat wings, YOU’RE BULLSHITTING, so stop.

I swear I’m not mad, even though I’m probably coming off that way. Yes, I’m writing this from the top of a college bell tower – but that doesn’t prove anything about my mental state. I’m just fired up and on a mission from god to get these fully grown adults to stop lying to themselves about being wing lovers.

Here’s the reality, my dude people: If there’s no bones, you’re not eating a chicken wing – you’re eating a chicken tender with some sauce on it. Care to debate me? Try.

Just to be clear, there’s nothing wrong with tendies, but they’re absolutely not wings, and this idea of a “boneless wing” just needs to die.

ADMIT YOU LOVE YOUR TENDIES and leave real wing lovers like me alone.

Let’s do a quick review:













This is ORANGE fucking CHICKEN. Are we supposed to call this boneless wings too? Because you know, it’s the exact same thing as the other TENDIES but with sweet orange glaze on it instead of buffalo sauce.

Glad I got that off my chest.

I’m not coming down from this tower until this whole boneless wings conflict concludes. Free tendies in the comments below.

Just fuck our shit up

  • Swigertron

    100% accurate. A sauce covered nugget is all tendies are. Keep fighting the good fight and Godspeed.

    • Thank you and bless your heart for taking the time to drop some knowledge in the comments <3

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