Pat Wojack Is The Next Eminem

11/13/2016 WeekendAtMartys

WARNING: EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT MUSIC IS ABOUT TO CHANGE!

And no genre of music is safe. Country, Hip-Hop, Rock, Dad-Rock, it doesn’t matter, in the back hills of Tennessee one crack addict is fittin to take everybody down and his name is Pat Wojack.

Wojack is one part meme rap genius, one part patron saint of “Mac-Town” and two parts incoherent homeless man sippin on Drain-O spiked lean. To understand this enigma called Pat Wojack, one must study his songs, like a historian studies ancient texts. Take the above track for instance, it’s very avant garde in its  construction. The message is simple, this man has very small women trapped in his pockets and he can’t let them out because if he does the denizens of Mac-Town will accuse him of not doing it “big” for them. However we also see him lamenting the pressure that comes with being the king of Mac-Town and having all these ratchets in his jean-shorts.

However this man is like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, scary but gone, because Wojack hasn’t put out anything since his magnum opus “Don’t Mess Wid Wojack” featuring the lyrical mastermind Mayo and the part time seal EZ(2:48 in the video below).

The song above mysteriously cuts out in mid sentence with Wojack confirming that he is still in fact “here”. Perhaps he is waiting for a challenger to meander down the dark alleyways of Mac-Town and challenge him to a duel. Or maybe this being named Wojack transformed into a new being waiting for the right time to dominate a new field, we can only hope. If you find Wojack in real life however, leave a tribute of lean and barbecue steaks.

 

 

 

 

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